5 Hacks For Your Inconvenient Boner

adminGay Culture

gay men having boners

5 Hacks for When You Get An Inconvenient Boner

 

1. The ol’ pocket side-grab:

Methodology: Reach deep into your pocket like your keys are stuck down there, and grab that boner instead. Hold it against your leg all casual-like.
Proper situations for use: When you have to keep up with someone who is traveling faster than a slow crawl.
Risks: Penile pain and the risk of giving the false impression of a severe crotch rash

2. The “I’m just casually going to keep my textbook here”:

Methodology: Keep a large, hardcover book in front of your junk all 1930s middle-schooler-like. Do NOT move book from this position until you are positive it is safe to do so.
Proper situations for use: Ideal for any walking situation provided you can scrounge up a large hardcover book.
Risks: Poor posture, just like your mom warned you.

 

3. The “move so erratically that it’s hard to tell what’s going on in your pants” play:

Methodology: When all else fails, jiggle everything around. Sure you’ll have a wagglin’ boner, but it might get lost in a sea of other jiggling parts.
Proper situations for use: Are you dancing at a club? Good, that’s the only time this is going to work.
Risks: It probably won’t work

4. The “Hey, look over there!” diversion:

Methodology: Say “Hey, look over there!” If and when said person looks over there, run away.
Situations: Works great when you didn’t really want to be a part of the conversation anyway.
Risks: May increase an aire of mystery, but more likely it will make you look like a dick. Luckily said dick may come off as flaccid

5. The “fake-a-stomach-ache-crouch-walk”:

Methodology: Grab your stomach and hunch over like you had low-quality leftover Indian food last night. While you are down there, make sure you grab a bit of that boner of yours, too.
Proper situations for use: When you don’t need to be a part of the conversation, and you could use a bit of misplaced sympathy.
Risks: Make sure you keep your eyes facing forward… you wouldn’t want to trip boner-first, after all.

 What's your favorite way of hiding your inconvenient boner? 

Receive Updates

THE EROTIC MALE

(Visited 20 times, 1 visits today)